Holiday interaction with family doesn’t have to turn into reality TV, and for many, this is not tha case at all. In this fast pace, society families are more spread out than ever. We find many families don’t have good genuine communication though there are more avenues now to communicate. This is one of tha leading causes of family discord. It can be hurtful when your favorite cousin, or heaven forbid your sibling, shows up to tha family gathering with a new spouse and baby…but no one in tha family knew a thing. Elders find themselves feeling neglected until we need them to cook, or we need to use their house to gather. Or, we have that one family member that needs to feel validated and that has caused some jealousy and envy issues. Tha needs to be seen leads to constantly bringing up negative subjects by which they are tha victim, and everyone needs to understand they are just “keeping it real”.
These are just some of tha issues that could be cooking leading to a holiday family gathering. However, there doesn’t have to be a fight. Taking tha time leading to tha holidays to reach out to family can help settle tha craziness. No one wants to feel tha words “I miss you”, “I love you”, and “How have you been” come from a place devoid of sincerity. If you know you are bringing tha new spouse and kid to tha gathering communicate as they are not merely your family members but that of your family at large. Feeling like they are no longer connected to your joy, achievements, and monumental moments is what causes hurt when there is genuine love. We must take tha time to reach out to tha elders year-round to let them know we love them, and we care. Though they are happy to see family they don’t want to feel used, and neither would you. Furthermore, you never know how much time you have left with them…get all tha wisdom you can from them while you can. Though we have some tech savvy elders…there are many that don’t text, and they aren’t on social media. We have to actually take time to pick up the phone and call them…in that moment lyfe slows down and we are grounded in what’s important in lyfe.
As for tha “need to be seen” crown…all we can do is love them, and at times ignore them. Granted there are some that family members with deep-seated issues, and sometimes keeping distance is tha best option. However, know that holiday family fighting and drama doesn’t have to be tha norm for any of us. This is a time to come together, partake of good food, catch up, and share in love. Let your holiday focus be to spread the energy that is love, peace, and joy. Happy Holidays
