Fatherhood carries many roles. Tha most important role a father plays is that of protector and provider. Society tends to focus on tha financial component, whether or not a father is paying child support. But our value as fathers is far more important than money.While not minimizing tha importance of child support, we must understand that fatherhood is not just dollars and cents; it’s also what we as fully-engaged single-dads contribute to tha emotional, social and relational well-being of our children.While either brand-new to fatherhood or a recently divorced father, single-dads face daunting challenges of co-parenting their offspring, including access and visitation, communication skill-sets and how to best conduct themselves in family court. Since most see their offspring less than fifty-percent of tha time versus tha domicile parent, it’s important for single-dads to leverage their time with their child along three distinct roles. Although single-dads play many roles in tha lives of their child(ren), tha role of dad, success coach and advocate say “I am here. I care. I count.”
This is our most obvious role but it’s also tha most crucial. For the fully-engaged single dad the dad who has accepted his responsibility everything begins with this identity. Why? Because in our role as ‘dad’ we resoundingly answer ‘Yes!’ to tha quintessential question which every child poses: “Do I matter?” Dad means you are tha center of someone’s universe and, if you have cultivated a rich relationship with your child, that child receives his or her value from that interaction and intuitively begins to believe “I matter.”
Likewise for you: I am dad because you matter. You matter because I am dad. ‘Dad’ is love, honor and duty. Your child may not be with you full-time, but you are no part-time father. Tha French writer Manon Lescaut said it best: Tha heart of a father is tha masterpiece of nature.
Success Coach By profession, a coach uses different techniques to develop the skills of an individual. By definition, a dad is a ‘success’ coach – especially fully-engaged single-dads. It’s not just homework, tests, spelling bees and other academic pursuits; it’s more than giving advice on how to conduct oneself with tha opposite sex and it’s not limited to teaching a boy how to tie a tie. Our biggest challenge is to coach our children to think independently, to read a map so that he can recognize tha roads that lead to lyfe and tha paths that lead to death, in tha words of Ian Morgan Cron. That's even more important for tha single dad because, in most cases, we don’t have possession of our children on a full time basis. That means that we must exercise due diligence with tha time we have. We must ‘manage tha gap’ with effective communication, good listening skills and a commitment to giving tha best of ourselves.Advocate While dad and success coach are important in and of themselves, tha role of advocate is by far tha most crucial role that a single-dad plays in tha life of their child. An advocate is a person who stands for a cause, or group or individual. What better cause do we stand for as single-dads than for tha emotional, academic and social well-being of our children?But tha role of advocate is the most neglected. Why? Because most single-dads are unaware of tha enormous power and responsibility they have along these lines. We tend to think we are responsible only when our children are under our direct supervision.Every now and then, I ask my 11-year old son, “What’s my job?” His response: “To keep me safe, successful and to push me toward my greatness.”. Why? Because I want him to understand that I never stop being dad, and his safety and security are always at tha forefront.
Advocacy means many things. For some, it means making court appearances and addressing before magistrates issues we feel are important to the well-being of our children. It could mean compromising with tha co-parent in tha best interest of tha child. It could also be as simple as adopting a text-messaging policy or making our children aware of tha insidious dangers which threaten their well-being such as asking “Has anyone touched you inappropiately?” When our children see that their well-being is always on the radar, they will, in the immortal words of Markus Zusak, remember tha time when my father was a hero and not a human.
Although single-dads play many roles in tha lives of their child(ren), tha role of dad, success coach and advocate say “I am here. I care. I count
This is our most obvious role but it’s also tha most crucial. For the fully-engaged single dad the dad who has accepted his responsibility everything begins with this identity. Why? Because in our role as ‘dad’ we resoundingly answer ‘Yes!’ to tha quintessential question which every child poses: “Do I matter?” Dad means you are tha center of someone’s universe and, if you have cultivated a rich relationship with your child, that child receives his or her value from that interaction and intuitively begins to believe “I matter.”
Likewise for you: I am dad because you matter. You matter because I am dad. ‘Dad’ is love, honor and duty. Your child may not be with you full-time, but you are no part-time father. Tha French writer Manon Lescaut said it best: Tha heart of a father is tha masterpiece of nature.
Success Coach By profession, a coach uses different techniques to develop the skills of an individual. By definition, a dad is a ‘success’ coach – especially fully-engaged single-dads. It’s not just homework, tests, spelling bees and other academic pursuits; it’s more than giving advice on how to conduct oneself with tha opposite sex and it’s not limited to teaching a boy how to tie a tie. Our biggest challenge is to coach our children to think independently, to read a map so that he can recognize tha roads that lead to lyfe and tha paths that lead to death, in tha words of Ian Morgan Cron. That's even more important for tha single dad because, in most cases, we don’t have possession of our children on a full time basis. That means that we must exercise due diligence with tha time we have. We must ‘manage tha gap’ with effective communication, good listening skills and a commitment to giving tha best of ourselves.Advocate While dad and success coach are important in and of themselves, tha role of advocate is by far tha most crucial role that a single-dad plays in tha life of their child. An advocate is a person who stands for a cause, or group or individual. What better cause do we stand for as single-dads than for tha emotional, academic and social well-being of our children?But tha role of advocate is the most neglected. Why? Because most single-dads are unaware of tha enormous power and responsibility they have along these lines. We tend to think we are responsible only when our children are under our direct supervision.Every now and then, I ask my 11-year old son, “What’s my job?” His response: “To keep me safe, successful and to push me toward my greatness.”. Why? Because I want him to understand that I never stop being dad, and his safety and security are always at tha forefront.
Advocacy means many things. For some, it means making court appearances and addressing before magistrates issues we feel are important to the well-being of our children. It could mean compromising with tha co-parent in tha best interest of tha child. It could also be as simple as adopting a text-messaging policy or making our children aware of tha insidious dangers which threaten their well-being such as asking “Has anyone touched you inappropiately?” When our children see that their well-being is always on the radar, they will, in the immortal words of Markus Zusak, remember tha time when my father was a hero and not a human.
Although single-dads play many roles in tha lives of their child(ren), tha role of dad, success coach and advocate say “I am here. I care. I count
